The Power of Self-Compassion: Why Being Kind to Yourself Improves Leadership + Team Performance
- Brittany Clausen
- Sep 21
- 3 min read
Written by Brittany Clausen, CEO at Envision Greatness
A few weeks ago, during a leadership exercise, we asked a simple but powerful question to one of our teams: “What do you want to be known for as a leader?”
The responses were inspiring—vision, integrity, empathy, courage. But one theme quickly rose to the surface: the biggest challenge wasn’t what leaders wanted to be known for—it was how hard they were on themselves in the process.
That moment stuck with us—because it’s not just this team we work with. It’s almost every individual we meet.
Why Self-Compassion Matters More Than Self-Criticism
Most leaders were raised on the belief that self-criticism fuels growth: If I don’t push myself hard enough, I’ll fall behind. But science paints a different picture.
Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in self-compassion research, found that people who practice self-compassion are more motivated, not less. They’re able to admit mistakes, take accountability, and move forward because they’re not drowning in shame or fear. A meta-analysis published in Personality and Social Psychology Review reinforced this, showing that self-compassion is linked to greater emotional resilience, less stress, and better overall performance.
In other words, being kind to yourself doesn’t mean lowering the bar—it means creating the conditions to consistently clear it.
How Self-Compassion Improves Performance
When leaders practice self-compassion, they gain an edge in ways that matter most:
Bounce Back Faster: Instead of ruminating on mistakes, they quickly shift to problem-solving.
Model Resilience for Teams: When leaders treat themselves with kindness, they create cultures where people feel safe to innovate and take risks.
Reduce Burnout: Self-compassion prevents the spiral of perfectionism, replacing it with sustainable energy.
Stay Aligned With Values: By quieting the inner critic, leaders can focus on what matters most—integrity, empathy, and impact.
One Harvard Business Review article even noted that leaders who practice self-compassion experience higher levels of adaptive leadership and employee trust, because they approach challenges with clarity rather than self-doubt.
Shifting from Critic to Coach: Reframing the Inner Voice
In our coaching and training sessions, many of those individuals admitted their toughest critic wasn’t their boss, board, or even their teammates—it was themselves. They held themselves to impossible standards and replayed small mistakes on a mental loop. Sound familiar?
That’s where shifting from a critic to coach perspective becomes so powerful.
Instead of:“Why do I always mess this up?”
Try:“What can I learn here, and how can I support myself in moving forward?”
This reframing is more than a positive-thinking trick—it’s backed by research. Neff and Germer (2013) found that individuals who practiced mindful self-compassion showed greater resilience and reduced stress after setbacks. Similarly, a review in the Annual Review of Psychology concluded that self-compassion fosters motivation and growth by replacing shame with constructive problem-solving (Neff, 2023).
Think of it this way: your inner critic drains energy, while the coach in you sustains it. When you act as your own compassionate coach, you:
Offer yourself encouragement instead of punishment.
Create room for curiosity instead of fear.
Stay focused on solutions instead of shortcomings.
And just like a great coach, you help yourself get back in the game faster.
Closing Reflection
As team members in our session discovered, the qualities they wanted to be known for—vision, empathy, courage—don’t start with how they treat others. They start with how they treat themselves. That's what makes a great true leader.
Self-compassion isn’t indulgence. It’s leadership fuel.
So the next time you stumble or fall short, pause and ask yourself: “What would the leader I aspire to be say to me right now?” Chances are, that answer will not only strengthen your performance but also shape the legacy you leave behind.
Sources
Han, A., et al. (2023). Effects of Self-Compassion Interventions on Reducing Depressive Symptoms: A Meta-Analysis.
Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2013). A pilot study and randomized controlled trial of the Mindful Self-Compassion program. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69(1), 28-44. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.21923
Neff, K. D. (2009). The role of self-compassion in development: A healthier way to relate to oneself. Human Development, 52(4), 211-214. https://doi.org/10.1159/000215071
Neff, K. D. (2023). Self-Compassion: Theory, Method, Research, and Intervention. Annual Review of Psychology, 74, 1-28. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-032420-031047
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